As of September, of last year, I have been living abroad in the quirky little city that is Manchester. Without knowing a soul or even visiting the city, I picked up my life and moved across the pond. Reckless? Sure, but I’m a Sagittarius and made the leap under the guise that it was to get my masters.
I honestly don’t know if I would have moved without the security blanket of university, but regardless I’m glad I made the change, I was ready for a fresh start.
I’m not saying you have to get your masters halfway across the world, but living abroad somewhere that holds zero preconceived notions of who you are or how you’re meant to act is one of God’s greatest gifts.
I find that people’s assumptions of who you are often overshadow what’s real, and even muddle your own self-perception. Exponentially so when you’re like me and introverted, so moving away can be a true eye-opener.
Arguably, moving away is easier when you’re introverted because being alone is so comfortable. As long as you acknowledge the difference between what’s a comfortable amount of time alone and what’s healthy, you’ll transition just fine.
Tips for Socializing in A New City
- Set a schedule. Aside from going to work or school, having daily expectations of yourself will help you stay accountable and present. Drifting off into that series you’re binging for days on end will be far more difficult when you plan a daily 7 pm walk to explore your new area.
- Eat your way through the city. If Anthony Bourdain has taught us anything, it’s that food brings people together. Every city has food institutions their citizens are passionate about. When you meet new people you get on with, ask them out to their favourite restaurant. It’s so much easier to connect with someone when they’re passionate about whatever you’re doing.
- Start dating. I’m not sure if this is necessarily good advice, but if you’re finding it difficult to find friends you actually care about, dating is a good distraction. One of the perks of being abroad is that when you’re new to a city, you’re somehow instantly interesting. What’s better than always having a really good ice breaker on deck, especially if you have an accent? Once you’re bored of the monotony of dating for romantic or sexual intentions, dating for platonic friends with seem like a breeze. Also, best case scenario, you get adopted into a friend group and maybe a boo thang!
- Join a group on Meetup. Whether it’s for professional networking or you’re just in need of some mates, connecting with people who are looking to open their social circle who already have common interests with you is the way to go. People typically go to meetup groups on their own so there’s never any reason to feel insecure. Also, no matter what, there’s always someone incredibly friendly there willing to pull you under their wing if you feel awkward.
- Know your limits. While pushing yourself to be the best version of you in a new city is great, if you start doing things just because everyone else is, you’ll be miserable. If people are into music you despise or binge drinking 5 nights a week isn’t your thing, don’t force it. The only way you’ll acclimate to your new home properly is if you’re authentic to who you are. Moving to a new city should be about finding true peace and understanding within yourself. Don’t put pressure on yourself for not “fitting in” or finding your place in the world immediately, it’ll come.
If you want to check out my adventures abroad, or are looking for a friend in Manchester, give me a shout on Instagram.
